We tried having traditional roles for the first two years. Brock focused on providing money through building work and I managed the home and Francis. This seemed necessary and yet we were both overwhelmed and unsatisfied. When Francis turned two and a half, we threw out the rules. Brock started spending more time with Francis, I went back to school, and the most amazing things happened for all of us. Adventures happened. Day trips to the river. Flint knife making. Clay was harvested, pinch pots made and fired. Long walks and lots of time getting dirty. Francis transformed. Between two and a half and four he has become more confident, competent and capable. The two of them have their own jokes and stories, and special places. Brock continues to widen and deepen Francis's formation and he himself continues to expand.
The other day I walked in on them in the shop. They both had on ear protection. Brock was cutting spoon forms with a skill saw and Francis was hammering a nail into some scrap wood. Uninterrupted by my presence, they kept on with their work. That’s how it is now. They have their work. It is different than mine. Everyday we get to live new possibilities because Brock said “yes” to taking a more active role and finding his own way in rearing Francis.